small town heart

So, I'm watching 'The View'. How is this show still on TV? All they do is talk over each other and compete to be the loudest voice. It gives me a headache, I'll say it. I'm no longer watching it.
I'm thinking about trying a photo a day project next year. My inspiration comes from one of my favorite blogs, Gabrielle Kai Photography. Her pictures are sooo beautiful. the post for today that really got me thinking about it is 15 tips for a daily photo project. Tip #8 is: Don't set yourself up to fail. She says "Why not consider a photo a week project?" I just may have to, a photo a day kind of seems like a lot, and let's face it, I'm not the most motivated person I know. This would be great though, because I really want to work at getting better at photography. I was getting pretty frustrated the other day when some film I got back didn't wow me. Greg kept reminding me that these things take time and practice. I know that's true, but I was hoping I could pick up camera and beauty would just flow from it. Uh, not quite. I'm afraid that if I'm not any good now, I'll never be and it can't be learned. Not only do I need to learn more about the cameras I'm using, but my pictures were just uninspired. I was literally taking pictures and hoping they would magically be great. After I got over some of my frustration I started playing with my digital camera and the white balance settings. Basic, I know, but I had never thought to even use it before. I decided I would try to get some shots of Lucy inside. She's hard to get because, number one, she never sits still, but also, her coloring is weird and is not easily photographed, I'm not sure why. She was lounging on the ottoman so I decided to give it a shot. Although the pictures aren't award winning, it's amazing the difference that some patience and playing with the settings made! That gave me a little hope that this is something I may be able to learn.

I'm afraid to fail. Can I just say that? I feel a little lost lately. All I do is work, sleep, work, sleep. I'm such a boring person, I hate when people ask me what I've been up to, because I'm at a loss for an interesting answer. There are things I want to do, that I've made steps to delve into deeper, but I always get nervous and things grind to a halt. Photography is one example. The other? I'm trying to write a book. I feel so stupid saying that, to be quite honest. Probably the reason I've only told a few people. Like, 2 I think. It's scary to say out loud because then people expect things out of you. What if I never finish? What if I finish and I think it's great but really it just sucks? I get so excited some days, then others it's all I can do not to delete what I've started. I keep wondering why all of this hobby stuff is so scary to me, then I realized, I've never really had one before. Sounds weird, but it's true! I was always so busy with jobs, school, church stuff, and when I wasn't at those places I was with friends. When I lived near friends, I didn't need or want a hobby. The reason it's becoming so urgent now that I be good at something is in part, I'm thinking, because I don't know that many people around here, and with only one job, I am home a lot. Watching NCIS re-runs I've seen 4 times already. Eating junk food. So many reasons why a hobby may be healthier, right?

One of the pictures I talked about earlier. Is she not the cutest thing you've ever seen?

It sort of feels good to get that all out there, I'm not gonna lie.